His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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