There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
