I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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