I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
