You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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