her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
