AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
