you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
is this the sara with the beer cane?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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