dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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