I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
