Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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