You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
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Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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