So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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