I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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