I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
