someone get that fucking seahorse.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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