I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The feeling are messing with the penis
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
