we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
