well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
