i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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