do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
