Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
