my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
