There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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