i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
