Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
