No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
