OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
