i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize