I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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