2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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