Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
