btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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