We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize