You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
