My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
