Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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