I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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