This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize