I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I think I died a long time ago.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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