Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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