cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
