party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
