Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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