Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
