ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
