Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
