So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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