When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
