Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
