Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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