I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
