you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
