Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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